Saturday, September 16, 2006

Bill O'Reilly reports this week on the details released by the New York Times about the awful torture our soldiers are using to get information on terrorist activities.

Turns out they're forcing them to listen to the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Real painful stuff. First of all, let me go on record as saying that if these guys can't handle listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, they're bigger pussies than I had them pegged for. I don't know about you, but if you put me in a cold room and put on some Chili Peppers, my initial reaction would be more along the lines of CRANK IT UP!

So this week we learn that not only are these barbarians a bunch of murderous animals, but they also have REALLY bad taste in music. Furthermore, they're such fucking wimps that they're willing to rat out their friends over their captors' choice of music. Cut me a fucking break.

Imagine what would have happened if our guys had whipped out some old bad Quiet Riot recordings from the '80s. I can only laugh at the prospect.

That must make me just such a sadistic bastard. Well boo-fucking-hoo. If this is what is being considered "torture", by our enemies, what the fuck should we be calling any of the following?

Taking innocents hostage
Suicide bombings in civilian areas
Car bombings in civilian areas
Sticking electrified pokers up people's ass

and, of course, the end-all-be-all of "humane" torture

Decapitation by sword without anasthesia

I think that if you put things into perspective, the Chili Peppers pale in comparison. Where's the outrage at the torture methods used by the terrorists?