Failed Bush Environmental Policy Delays World Series  

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Heavy rain and high winds caused by recent changes in environmental conditions caused Major League Baseball to delay completion of Game 5 of the 2008 World Series in Philadelphia. During the game, players experienced skidding in the mud, difficulty with wetness around the pitching rubber, problems with visibility and footing, all caused by the heavy rain and winds that were the order of the day at Citizens Bank Park.

President Bush's failure to accept the provisions of the Kyoto accords are believed to have caused increases in temperature at the poles and increases in ocean levels. This is believed to have caused an increase in storm activity along the Eastern seaboard, which includes the Philadelphia area.

The number of large SUVs parked at the event, and those from prior events held over the weekend at the nearby Wachovia Center and Lincoln Financial Field, are believed to have brought about extreme CO2 levels, which are believed to have intensified the storm and increased its strength and duration.

Fans expressed disappointment at having to go home and come back for the rest of the game. Dr. Arnold Butkus, a Delaware County dentist who recently divorced his wife so that he could continue in the field, summed up the whole affair in two words, "This sucks." Butkus went on to say that these failed environmental policies have also been responsible for the current economic crisis, and that the war in Iraq would never have been won without Barack Obama threatening to pull the troops out.

Sarah Palin was unavailable for comment.